Friday, June 29, 2012

Day 1 - Clearing/re-evaluating my agreements

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel angry/sad whenever I perceive/see someone trying to discredit me and manipulate others into thinking bad about me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like I have to defend myself whenever I see/perceive that other people gossip about me, instead of realizing that it is their responsibility to not deliberately discredit others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get angry/annoyed when one wants to manipulate me by judging me/blaming me/blackmailing me when I don't want to participate in the blaming game or do what another demands I should.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to explain to others 'my side of the story' because I fear that they will judge me based on the other people's judgments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty when one wants to have sex with me and I decline even if I know that this is only based on desire/manipulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that others will gossip about me and try to discredit me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall for the manipulation point of guilt when one wants to manipulate me into making a decision according to their wishes/wants/desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty when one says that I am not supporting equality just because I decline to live/have an agreement/have sex with someone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty and to blame myself for not making an agreement with X and not deciding to live with X, instead of realizing that my starting point was not clear from the beginning and that it couldn't stand because I wasn't clear about it from the very beginning.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize that my relationship with X was based on manipulation/fear from the very beginning and so had to fall/end as the starting point was not equality.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have allowed myself to compromise myself through fear and allowed myself to be manipulated in my relationships and so I must delete all old patterns and recreate my relationships, so that I can start from the beginning and create a clear starting point that I can stand as in self-honesty.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize and admit to myself that I am not ready to make an agreement with X because I fear loosing my safety/security/comfort within the system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself and feel guilty because I didn't have a clear starting point from the very beginning of my relationship with X, so it had to fall as it could never stand.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to make an agreement with someone, instead of realizing that I have to make an effective agreement with self.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop blaming me and feeling guilty for what I did by not having a clear starting point.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop blaming me for my mistakes, instead I forgive myself for what I did and I allow myself to have a clean start within my agreement with self.