Saturday, July 21, 2012

Day 19 - Relationship points: aloneness


How do I experience aloneness?
I define aloneness as not having a girl (partner) to live with. When alone I desire to have/be with my partner that would understand me, accept me and enjoy being with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire/wish/want to be in a relationship/agreement with a partner who would understand me/accept me and enjoy being with me, instead of realizing that I have to understand me through self-honesty, that I have to accept me as life an enjoy myself here in the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to be in an agreement/relationship with her out of fear of loss.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define/connect aloneness with sadness, failure, depression, fear and anxiety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define aloneness as not having a girl/partner to live with. I realize that I am alone all the time because the presence of someone else that is with me does not change or define me as who I actually really am here in the physical, because I only imagine aloneness/togetherness in my mind where I define this aloneness/togetherness through polarity and separation which is all an illusion because in actuality we always stand alone and yet we are together.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define aloneness as the opposite polarity of togetherness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel depressed, sad, anxious and go into fear whenever I think of being alone, not being in a relationship/agreement with her or anyone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to be in a relationship/agreement with her/anyone out of fear of survival and not having enough money.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself that I am able to get/have enough money to survive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I need her/my partner/others in order to survive and enjoy myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself that I am able to take care of myself no matter what.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to be in an agreement/relationship with her out of fear of losing and not having any friends.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I do not need her/anyone to help me to get to know new people and have friends.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I don’t need friends/other people in order to stop feeling alone and accept me, understand me and enjoy myself here in the physical. I realize that I have created the emotions of aloneness, non-acceptance and non-understanding myself and so I stop these emotions and give me back to myself as life to be self-sufficient and self-fulfilling and enjoy myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stopping/not being in a relationship with her and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect all the emotions/feelings to the memories of being with her and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect and define myself according to this memories/feelings/emotions that I have about her.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stop defining myself through the memories/feelings about her, thinking that I will lose myself and who I am, instead of realizing that I will not lose myself but only free myself from the self-enslavement/limitation I created for myself by defining myself through these memories/feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define her as something ‘more than’ just because I have more memories and good feelings attached to her.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look at people according to my memories about them instead of simply being here and accepting everyone equally.

I commit myself to stop defining aloneness/togetherness as a polarity within me where being alone is bad/sad and being together is good/happy/fun.

I commit myself to stand alone and yet together with all that is here as one as equal and be self-sufficient and self-fulfilling.

I commit myself to investigate and remove all ideas/beliefs that I am not self-sufficient and self-fulfilling and I commit myself to always enjoy myself here in the breath no matter what and direct myself within common sense and towards what is best for all.