Monday, July 9, 2012

Day 9 - Self-responsibility / Aloneness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing all of myself and being self-honest with self and taking self-responsibility. I realize that judging myself for this is pointless. When and as I see myself fearing facing myself and being self-honest with self - I stop and I breathe. Instead I write out the fears and points where I have not yet taken self-responsibility for myself and I commit myself to take self-responsibility for every point I find, breath by breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear loosing my relationships if I am self-honest and do self-correction, instead of realizing that with this I will stop my mind/energetic relationships and replace them with physical relationships based on common sense and what is best for all. When and as I see myself fearing to loose my mind/energetic relationships if I am self-honest and do self-correction - I stop and I breathe. Instead I commit myself to be self-honest and do self-correction and not go into fear of loosing my energetic/mind relationship, but replace them with physical relationships according to common sense and what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that the effectiveness of my process is dependant on the place and person(s) I live with, instead of realizing that facing myself, being self honest and applying self-correction according to what is best for all is all about myself and my willingness to face myself and correct myself, no matter where or with whom I live.

I commit myself to not avoid but face myself in self-honesty, breath by breath, writing out, forgiving and correcting every point and aligning myself according to what is best for all Life by finding and applying practical solutions from which all Life will benefit equally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I will only face myself and take self-resopnsibility for myself if I am in constant situations of conflict. I realize that by doing this I separate myself from the point of facing myself and taking self-responsibility by limiting myself to think that I will/can only do this when I am in conflict situations. When and as I see myself thinking/believing/perceiving that I will only face myself and take self-resopnsibility for myself in conflict situations - I stop and I breathe. Instead I commit myself to be self-honest and take self-resopnsibility for myself no matter what situation I am in and stand for practical solutions that are best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear, be embarassed and judge myself as 'less than' when facing and exposing my fears to myself/other. I realize that fearing, judging myself as less than and being embarassed when exposing my fears to myself and others is poitnless. When and as I see myself fearing, being embarassed and judging myself as 'less than' when exposing my fears to myself or others - I stop and I braethe. Instead I commit myelf to look at, write out and remove the irrational fears through which I compromise myself to not do/stand for what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that my fears will overrun me and that I will be unable to stop them/push through them and so comproimse my effectiveness within the system if I push myself too much into situations of fear. I realize that by thinking about fears overrunning me I create the fear of this happening and also already accept and allow the possibility of this happening. When and as I see myself fearing that my fears will overrun me and that I will be unable to stop them - I stop and I breathe. Instead I commit myself to stop the fear of being overrun by fears by applying self-forgiveness and focusing on the breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as a failure/feel as less than/incapable when I or someone else exposes a point that I hadn't considered yet or where I haven't taken self-responsibility yet. I realize that judging myself and feeling less than in this situations is pointless. When and as I see myself that I judge myself as a failure/feel as less than/incapable when I or someone else exposes a point that I hadn't considered yet or where I haven't taken self-responsibility yet - I stop and I breathe. Instead I commit myself to look at the point in self-honesty, write it out and apply self-forgiveness and self-correction until there are no more reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that others will see/judge me as a failure/less than if they see/know or I tell them that there is a point where I still haven't taken self responsibility yet. I realize that in this I actually judge myself as a failure/less than which is pointless. When and as I see myself fearing that others will judge me as a failure/less than if they see/know or I tell them that there is a point where I still haven't taken self responsibility yet - I stop and I breathe. Instead I do not judge myself and I commit myself to write out and take responsibility for myself in common sense and what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear loosing X and connecting her with safety/help/support. I realize that I am responsible to be/create my own safety/help/support as equally as for others. When and as I see myself going into fear of loosing X and so my safety/help/support - I stop and I breathe. Instead I look at where do I still define my safety/help/support according to her and I commit myself to give back to myself and create my own safety/help/support as equally as for others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to take complete self-responsibility for myself and to make X and other people responsible for myself. I realize that by doing this I am limiting and abusing myself and others. When and as I see myself not wanting to take complete self-responsibility for myself - I stop and I breathe. Instead I commit myself to stop all self abuse and the abuse of others by taking self-responsibility for myself according to common sense and what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect aloneness to 'having no one to talk to'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear of not having anyone to talk to.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to always have someone I can talk to.
When and as I see myself connecting aloneness with having no one to talk to, fearing of having no one to talk to and wishing/wanting/desiring to always have someone I can talk to - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breath and commit myself to stop all definitions/memories connected to aloneness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect aloneness to 'having no one to help me'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having no one to help me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to always have someone to help me.
I realize that I can and have to always help myself first. When and as I see myself connecting aloneness to 'having no one to help me', fearing that I will have no one to help me and wishing/wanting/desiring to always have someone to help me - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breath and look at how I can help myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect aloneness with 'having no sex'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear of having no sex.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to always have someone to have sex with.
I realize that I can enjoy my sexual expression equally with myself alone as with someone else. When and as I see myself connecting aloneness with 'having no sex', fearing of having no sex and wishing/wanting/desiring to always have someone to have sex with - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breath and look at where have I still separated myself from sex and sexual expression and I commit myself to apply self-forgiveness and self-correction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear of having to cook/prepare my own food and connecting it to aloneness. I realize that I am self-responsible to take care of my own food/diet. When and as I see myself fearing of having to cook/prepare my own food - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay in the breathe and forgive myself all the resistances that come up and commit myself to learn and prepare my own food.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect aloneness with 'having no one to have fun with'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having no one to have fun with.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to always have someone to have fun with.
I realize that within this I have separated myself from fun because I believe I need someone else in order to have fun. When and as I see myself connecting aloneness with 'having no one to have fun with' - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay in the breathe and I commit myself to remove all connections/emotion/memories that come up about the point 'having no one to have fun with' until I am one and equal with fun as being here in the breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define and connect aloneness as being a failure and to judge myself as a failure if/when I am alone. I realize that judging myself as a failure is pointless. When and as I see myself defining aloneness as being a failure and judging myself as a failure if/when I am alone - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay in the breathe and I commit myself to remove all self-judgments and definitions that come around the point of aloneness as a failure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define and connect aloneness as/to boredom. I realize that boredom is a character of the mind that I created and is not real. When and as I see myself connecting aloneness to boredom and/or being bored - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay in the breath and I look at how I have created the character of boredom and I commit myself to apply self-forgiveness and self-correction until there is no more experience of boredom and aloneness, just me being here in the breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear going into backchat and self-pity about aloneness and feeling scared/sad/disappointed/self-limited/wasting my Life/feeling sorry for myself. I realize that I create this fear by projecting my definitions about aloneness into the future in my mind and so accepting and allowing myself to already create this experience for me. When and as I see myself fearing of going into backchat and self-pity about aloneness and feeling scared/sad/disappointed/self-limited/wasting my Life/feeling sorry for myself - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breath and I commit myself to stop and forgive myself all the points that come up around the point of fear of being alone until I am clear here in the breath in the company of myself as the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking self-responsibility for everything I haven't taken self-responsibility for and defining it as too much/too hard. I realize that there is no point in imagining/projecting the amount of self-responsibility I have to take and to define it as hard/too much as with this I only create the feeling of overwhelmingness, resistance and fear. When and as I see myself fearing of taking self-responsibility for myself and defining it as too much/too hard - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breathe and I commit myself to take self-responsibility for myself here, one breath at a time, where I look at the fears/resistances that come up regarding taking self responsibility and I apply self-forgiveness and self-correction and apply myself in self-responsibility and according to what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I do not have to take complete self-responsibility for self and think/believe/perceive that others can do it for me. I realize that with this I allow myself to enslave myself to others and abuse myself and others by not taking self-responsibility. When and as I see myself thinking/believing/perceiving that I do not have to take self-responsibility - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breathe and I commit myself to stop and self-forgive all excuses and take self-responsibility for myself one breath at a time and according to what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not knowing what to do and being lost and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I always have to know what to do and to judge myself as stupid/less than/embarrassing if I don't know what to do. I realize that fearing this to happen is pointless as I am always here with me in the breath never lost and that I can always see what to do in common sense here in the physical when I am in the breath. When and as I see myself fearing not knowing what to do or being lost - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breath and I commit myself to stop all irrational fears as they come up with self-forgiveness and self correction.