Monday, August 20, 2012

Day 30 - Want to be noticed & Fearing to speak



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for fulfillment of being noticed and cared for from another. I realize that I am doing this because I do not fulfill, notice and take care of myself. When and as I see myself looking for fulfillment, wanting to be noticed and cared for - I stop and I breathe. Instead I gift back myself to myself by noticing myself and taking care of myself and fulfilling myself with myself as who I am as Life here in every breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into sadness when I think/believe/perceive I am not noticed. I realize that I have separated myself from notice by wanting someone else to notice me. When and as I see myself going into sadness and wishing/wanting/desiring to be noticed by another - I stop and I breathe. I notice and give attention to myself and stand here in the breath in self-fulfillment as Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I need someone to notice me. I realize that this is separation as I can give notice and attention back to myself and so stop the desire. When and as I see myself thinking/believing/perceiving that I need someone to notice me - I stop and I breathe. Instead I notice myself and give attention back to myself and take care of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to be noticed/accepted/loved/special within my relationships with others and in this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel insecure whenever I see/perceive no one notices me. When and as I see myself wishing/wanting/desiring to be noticed/accepted/loved/special - I stop and I breath. Instead I notice and give attention to myself and stand as an equal to others and all that is here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and my thoughts before I speak to the point of giving into fear of speaking and not speaking at all. When and as I see myself judging myself and my thoughts before I speak - I stop and I breathe. Instead I share and express myself in the moment and expand myself through self-honesty and common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse of 'I don't know how' in order to no speak up and share/express what I wanted. When and as I see myself suppressing myself with the belief of 'I don't know how' to speak about something - I stop and I breathe. Instead I share and express myself and not go into self-judgment.