Thursday, September 13, 2012

Day 35 - Self-Intimacy, fear of a relative dying


I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be completely intimate with myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be vulnerable with myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to completely expose myself to myself in self-honesty and without judgments.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to look deep into myself without judgments, to get to know who I have accepted and allowed myself to become so that I can correct myself and realign myself with Life and what is best for all in all ways.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I do this for me and no one else as only I can change me and realign me what is best for all and be Life here, one and equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and give into a resistance to face myself and write myself out. When and as I see myself resist facing myself and writing myself out - I stop and I breathe. I realize that the feeling/resistance I created for myself is a pattern and a self-defence mechanism of the mind where I am avoiding facing myself and taking self-responsibility to direct, change and realign myself with what is best for all. I commit myself to stop/transcend the resistance and face myself in self-honesty, self-intimacy and self-vulnerability and write myself out to see the patterns and re-align myself with what is best for all Life.

I commit myself to walk my process for me first to first get to know me and change/realign me according to what is best for all Life.

I commit myself to be completely self-honest and self-intimate with myself and to allow myself to be vulnerable to myself in order to see/explore all of me and what I have accepted and allowed myself to become and so change/correct and realign me according to what is best for all Life.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into fear of death when I see X.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the death of one of my relatives.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing the consequences/situation of one of my relatives dying. When and as I see myself fearing the consequence/situation of one of my relatives dying - I stop and breathe. I realize that I create this fear myself through the backchat of the mind where I fear losing that which I never had and so I stop. I commit myself to stop all fear of death and other people/relatives dying and be here in the breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having to show sadness and cry when one of my relative dies so that others wouldn't judge me as careless/heartless/inconsiderate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being accused of/judged as/blamed for being heartless/heartless/inconsiderate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge me as being careless/heartless/inconsiderate if I don't cry/am sad when one of my relatives die.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that a person that does not cry and is not sad when someone dies is heartless/careless and inconsiderate.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that crying/sadness has nothing to do with caring and being considerate as these emotions are just a momentary release of an energy build up.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear seeing my mother and father crying and being sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having to comfort/support my mother and father or someone else when they are crying and being sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to freeze and go into fear when I see my parents/someone crying or being sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I don't know what to do and how to comfort someone when one is crying/sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/define hugging my mother and father as awkward.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel awkward/embarrassed/ashamed when I hug my mother or father or someone else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that hugging one's mother or father is strange/awkward/embarrassing and a sign of being weak/childish.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I am weak/'gay'/childish if I hug my father or my mother.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as weak/childish/dependant if I hug my mother or father.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/define hugging one's parents as a sign of being weak/childish/dependant.