Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Day 36 - School and study fears & definitions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid that I will not finish schooling. When and as I see myself being afraid that I will not finish school – I stop and I breathe. I realize that fearing and imagining myself failing is self-sabotage. I commit myself to stop the fear and thoughts of me not finishing school and remain here in the breath, directing myself in the physical and focus on the here moment and learn/do what is required to be successful.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid that the school is too hard for me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define school as hard/too hard for me. I realize that the school seems hard/too hard for me just because I defined it as such. When and as I see myself defining school as hard/too hard for me – I stop and breathe. I commit myself to stop defining school and learning as hard/too hard and simply be here in the breath in the moment and do/learn what is required for me to finish school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I am unable to learn everything that is expected of me to finish the school. I realize that this is a belief that I created and that I simply have to stop defining/believing that I am unable to learn everything that is expected of me. I commit myself to stop believing and making beliefs that I am unable to learn everything that is expected of me to finish school and be here in the breath in the moment and direct myself to do/learn what is required to finish school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into fear whenever I see I do not understand something at school. I realize that this fear is completely irrational as I create it through thinking/imagining the consequences of me failing, which is self-sabotage. When and as I see myself going into fear when I do not understand something at school and/or imagining the consequences of me failing – I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to remain here in the breath when I do not understand something and ask for support and look at how I can assist myself to understand and learn what is required.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately go into self-judgment when I do not know something at school. I realize that I cannot expect from me to know and immediately understand what I learn at school because I go to school to learn new things. When and as I see myself immediately going into self-judgment when I do not know something at school – I stop and breathe. I commit myself to stop all self-judgment when I do not know something at school and to always remind myself that it is unrealistic of me to expect that I will know/understand everything immediately and at the same time than others do when I learn new things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately go into self-judgment when I see that others already know/understand something at school that I don't, believing that I should know too and that I am failing and not being good enough and then go into fear of imagining the consequences of me not knowing/failing. I realize that this is complete self-sabotage that is of no use as there is always people that know more than me or who will 'get it' sooner and that this does not mean that I am failing or being less than and that I will not finish school or be able to learn what is required because of it. I commit myself to stop all self-judgment when I see that others already know/understand something at school that I don't and I commit myself to stop all beliefs that I should know too and that I will be failing school because of this.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is hard / unpleasant to learn/study. I realize that I experience it as so because I believe it is as I have created this belief. When and as I see myself having resistance to study/learn, believing that it is hard / unpleasant to learn/study – I stop and breathe. I commit myself to stop the belief that it is hard / unpleasant to learn/study and I commit myself to stop all resistances towards learning/studying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can never enjoy myself when I learn/study for school. I realize that this belief is in no way useful as I realize I can enjoy learning/studying for school as anyone else as soon as I stop believing that I cannot enjoy learning/studying for school. When and as I see myself not enjoying studying for school and believing I cannot enjoy studying for school – I stop and breathe. I commit myself to stop all beliefs that I cannot enjoy myself studying for school and to be here in the breath in the moment and enjoy directing myself in learning new things as I study for school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define studying for school as not fun/depressing. I realize that I experience studying for school as not fun/depressing because I defined it as such and because I believe that this is so instead of stopping the belief and enjoying myself here as I study for school. When and as I see myself experiencing studying as not fun/depressing and defining it as such – I stop and breathe. I commit myself to stop all beliefs that studying for school is not fun/is depressing and I direct myself here in the breath to enjoy myself as I study for school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately go into resistance and anxiety when I study for school or thing of studying for school. I realize that I experience this resistance and anxiety because of all the definitions and beliefs I created around studying for school and so I commit myself to let go of all the definitions/judgments/beliefs about studying and simply be here in the breath, directing and enjoying myself as I study for school. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately start thinking about what could I do instead of studying for school when studying, going to study or thinking about studying. I realize that I do that because I defined studying for school as not fun and other things as more fun. When and as I see myself starting to think about other things I could do instead of studying when I study, go to study or thinking about studying – I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to stop defining studying as less fun as other things and to let go of all negative definitions about studying and to stop comparing studying with other activities and simply be here in the breath in the moment as I study, go to study or thing about studying.