Sunday, October 13, 2013

Day 106 - Anxiety around new people and self-sabotage at school work

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to relax and be comfortable around new people I meet.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be anxious around new people. When and as I see myself being anxious around new people - I stop and breathe. I realize that this is a pattern where my mind tries to direct me through definitions, belief and reactions that I created and that I simply have to direct myself in that moment and not allow the mind to interfere. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to be distracted with thoughts and reactions when I am around new people, instead I realize that I am equal to other people and that there are no real strangers because we are all the same as Life and I direct myself in breath to be relaxed and treat others as I would like to be.




I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself when doing school work by allowing myself to have thoughts of resistance and worry. When and as I see myself having thoughts of resistance and worry about school work - I stop and breathe. I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to go into resistance and worry, instead I take a breath to stop all thoughts and direct myself to do the work and I do not accept and allow any self-sabotage through thoughts, emotions, excuses.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Day 105 - Judging my speaking

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge the words I speak, the ideas I speak, the thoughts I speak before I even spoke them and when I am speaking in front of other people.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of the fear that what I speak will not be coherent, understandable, logical and sensible.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and myself to let go of the fear that I will be disliked, proven wrong or laughed at when I speak in front of others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that my father will not agree with what I am saying and to feel inferior when he or someone does not agree with what I am saying.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of rejection and inferiority when someone does not agree with me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge others who I don't agree with as inferior, wrong and stupid and to judge me in the same way. I realize that being wrong or not being agreed with by others is nothing 'bad' and is not shameful because no one knows everything and all people make mistakes and have wrong perceptions. I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to fear that may be wrong and that others will not agree with me. I commit myself to not judge myself as inferior, stupid and to not go into shame and fear of rejection/ridicule when others don't agree with me or when I am proven wrong. Instead I breathe and take the opportunity to learn something new.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to perceive the act of someone not agreeing with me as dangerous for the status of my relationship and reputation.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to be reputable among other people and to within this worry about/fear their opinions, observations. I realize and understand that as long as I will desire to have a 'good reputation' among others, to be liked by all and to have agreeing relationships with others, so long I will be afraid of rejection and disagreement. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to wish/want/desire to have a 'good reputation' among others and to have agreeing relationships with others. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to fear that others will not agree with me.

I realize and understand that only I can stop judging and comparing myself through inferiority/superiority and that I am always equal to all as Life and so it is useless to judge myself and feel inferior if others don't agree with me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed and less than when someone doesn't agree with me or when someone says that I did not do something well enough or how it was expected. I commit myself to no more feel ashamed and inferior in such situations and I commit myself to not take them personally. Instead I move myself in the breath and take the opportunity to learn something new and make myself better.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Day 104 - The manly me I wish to be

How I want to be perceive by others as a manly man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to be perceive by others as a manly man that is tough, strong and not fearful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define such man as superior and feel superior when I perceive myself this way and on the other hand to feel inferior when I do not perceive me this way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive being self-honest and open with others as weak and feel inferior in such situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being self-honest and open with others and to worry that others may react negatively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and feel inferior whenever others react negatively to my self-honesty and openness and to feel superior when other react positively to my self-honesty and openness.

Why I prevent myself from being more open and self-honest with others:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my past and so to judge myself through my past and what I have done in the past. I realize and understand that judging myself for the past is pointless as it only creates the feeling of inferiority within me and is actually an excuse to not be here in the breath and take responsibility for what is here in the moment. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge my past and myself through my past, instead I take self-responsibility for what is here in the breath in awareness that there in no point to judge what is here in every moment because judgments are opinions of self-interest that are used as justifications for why not to be self-directive and self-responsible in the moment to do what is best for all in common sense.

Opinion:
noun
1. a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
2. a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.
3. the formal expression of a professional judgment: to ask for a second medical opinion.
4. Law. the formal statement by a judge or court of the reasoning and the principles of law used inreaching a decision of a case.
5. a judgment or estimate of a person or thing with respect to character, merit, etc.: to forfeit someone's good opinion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that opinions matter. I realize and understand that opinions are not facts and so do not matter, therefore I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to create opinions and to judge myself/others according to opinions, instead I consider facts and do what is best for all based on facts.

I see, realize and understand how not considering facts the way that is best for all but self-interested opinions, creates wars and abuse of life on Earth as it can now be seen in Syria.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Day 103 - Getting to know a woman

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to meet and get to know women from the starting point of wanting sex, a partner, love and to feel superior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior whenever I meet/get to know a woman and to feel inferior if I don't meet/get to know any women.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decide who I want to meet/get to know according to their appearance and first impression. I realize and understand that judging people according to their appearance is abuse because I do not actually see and get to know the real living being that is behind the fake picture. When and as I see myself deciding to meet/not meet/get to know a person according to their image and/or first impression - I stop and breathe in awareness of the above realization. I commit myself that I will no longer do this, instead I will direct myself in breath to get to know all people equally, to not judge them and to see them for what they really are as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get excited to meet a woman that represents a systematic 'pretty picture' and to within this feel superior and on the other hand to feel inferior and create a resistance towards meeting a woman that does not represent a systematic 'pretty picture' or that is not systematically defined as 'desirable'. When I see this, I correct myself to not judge a woman according to her image or systematic definitions, instead I direct myself to get to know every woman for what she really is a life beyond her picture and system definitions, judgments, beliefs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to make a good impression when I meet a woman.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire that woman and other people would have a good opinion about me. I realize and understand that opinions and first impressions do not matter. What matters is what one does in every breath to bring about what is best for all life. Therefore I do not accept and allow myself to worry about how others think of me, how the perceive me and what first impression do I make to others. Instead I direct myself in breath and treat another as I would like to be treated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give to women more attention than to men.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a wish/want/desire within me towards meeting women and on the other hand to create resistance in me towards meeting men. I realize and understand that I create abuse by favoring women over men and 'pretty' women over 'not pretty women', therefore I commit myself to immediately stop when and as I see myself doing this and I direct myself in breath to see everyone equally for what they are as life.


Thursday, September 5, 2013

Day 101 - In-fear-iorities part 6


When do I feel inferior?

- When I am naked.

I forgive myself the I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior whenever I am seen (half) naked.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/see/perceive being naked as shameful, inappropriate, embarrassing and being inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and compare naked people with me and others and to judge their appearance according to pretty/sexy and ugly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and compare other man's penises with mine and others and to so feel inferior or superior and to allow myself to be defined by such comparisons and definitions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sexualize naked humans and use them as pictures for either sexual stimulation/attraction or repulsion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see naked people only as naked bodies as objects or pictures.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect naked women with sex and only see them as bodies and pictures for sexual pleasure as energy addiction. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to connect naked women with sex and to no more see them only as bodies and pictures for sexual pleasure as energy addiction. I commit myself to stop sex as energy addiction.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to see/perceive naked people only as naked bodies, pictures but as living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect naked humans with sex and with memories I have related to sex.

When and as I see myself connecting naked humans with sexual memories - I stop and breathe. I realize that with allowing this I only exist as a self-interested mind addicted to energies. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to connect naked humans with sex and sexual memories.

I realize and understand that judgment and comparison is not needed and is completely useless as it does not serve anyone any good, it is only a mind energetic polarity point where one wants to feel superior and with this also feel inferior. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge and compare naked people with me and others and I commit myself to not judge and compare the appearances of others and me when naked.

- When I stand out from the environment, when I am not according to the norm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior/superior when I in some way, that I judge as good or bad, stand out from the environment or when I am not according to the norm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of being seen as abnormal when I am not according to the norm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge being abnormal as something bad and shameful and to judge people who I see/perceive as abnormal in some way as inferior.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to feel inferior/superior and to judge myself whenever I am not according to the norm in some way and I commit myself to no judge people and me according to good and bad, but to see people/things for what they really are while being aware that all Life is equal.

- When I am not according to what others anticipate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I am not according to what others anticipated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I should always fulfill others expectations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to fulfill others expectation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to be liked by others by fulfilling their expectations of me.

I realize and understand that when I treat others how I would like to be treated and do what is best for all, there is no need for me to worry about others expectations and opinions of me as I am doing what is best for all and what others are expecting or thinking is just the projection of their mind and their wishes/wants/desires that are according to self interest.
Therefore I commit myself to treat others as I would like to be treated according to what is best for all and to not wish/want/desire to be liked by others and to not worry and judge myself according to what others expect from me or what they thing about me.

- When I fart.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I fart around people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and define farting as wrong, bad, shameful, embarrassing, disgusting and to judge people who fart as disgusting.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to define farting as wrong, bad, shameful, embarrassing, disgusting and to judge those who fart as disgusting and I commit myself to no more feel inferior, embarrassed when others hear me fart.

- When I am louder than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior, embarrassed when I am louder than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge loud people as inappropriate, rude, egoistic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear other people's judgement when I expose myself more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge exposed people.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge exposed people and to no more fear of others judgments when I am exposed.

- When I smell myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I smell myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge smelly people as inferior, disgusting, dirty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the smell of human body and sweat as disgusting and embarrassing.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge and define smells of human bodies as disgusting, embarrassing and to no more judge people who smell as inferior, disgusting, dirty.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Day 99 - In-fear-iorities part 5

When do I feel inferior?

- When others work and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see others work and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge other people as lazy, rude and selfish when I work and others just watch. I commit myself to not feel inferior when others work and I watch and to judge others when I work and others watch, instead I breathe and direct myself to help if I can or just breathe.

- When others want to talk to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear and feel inferior when someone says one wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect this with being punished, yelled at or bullied.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be punished, yelled at or bullied when someone wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into self judgment and to believe that I have done something wrong and be ashamed of myself when one says one wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I am being attacked and to wish/want/desire to go away when one says on wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when one says one wants to talk with me.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to go into fear, inferiority, shame when one says one wants to talk with me. Instead I breathe and I bring myself back here and direct myself in awareness that nothing bad can actually happen to me when one wants to speak with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally and to judge myself as inferior when one says I have done a bad job, done something wrong or when one does not agree with me. I realize and understand that there is no point in taking things personally and to judge myself according to what others say about me/my work, instead I can self honestly assess other's observation and use them to improve myself and if what they express is just their opinion then not take it personally. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge myself and feel inferior to another when one judges me/my work or says that I have done a bad job or done something wrong or when one doe not agree with me, instead I breathe and use other's observations to improve myself and I don't take anything personally.

- When I fall.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed and inferior when I fall or trip (in public) and to judge myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others that fall or trip as clumsy and inferior to me because I didn't/don't and to laugh at them in order to feel superior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior and clumsy if I hear other people laughing at me if I trip, fall.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge myself and feel inferior if I trip or fall (in public). Instead I breathe and focus on the physical and my body to see if I am ok.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge other as clumsy and inferior if I see them trip, fall and to not laugh at them in order to feel superior. Instead I breathe and help if they need it.

- When something doesn't work out as I planned, imagined, anticipated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior and be angry with myself when something doesn't work out as I planned, imagined, anticipated and I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel superior and happy when something does work out as I planned, anticipated, imagined. I realize and understand that I am with this participating in a polarity design, therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to create anticipation and wish/want/desire for something to work out as I planned, imagined and to not create anticipation and to feel feel bad, inferior when it doesn't happen the way I wanted. Instead I direct myself in breath to work as best as I can to do what I planned and I commit myself to no more blame and judge myself as inferior and feel angry when things work out differently.

I will continue in the next blog...

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Day 98: What does Obama show us

Reality check:
The USA's president Obama, the person who got a Nobel Peace Prize, wants to attack Syria and "has authority to act without Congress even if Congress votes no" and even "the use of force against Syria had not been approved at the UN Security Council".

What Obama shows us is that we as humans are all driven by self-interest only and that we only follow the agreements as long as they are aligned with our self-interest. If this was not so, Obama would not exist as we would not allow it.

Stand up for what is Best for All Life:

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/
http://desteniiprocess.com/
http://basicincome.me/

Sources:
https://twitter.com/JimAcostaCNN/status/374149557048709120
http://english.pravda.ru/news/hotspots/30-08-2013/125539-obama_nobel_peace_prize-0/

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Day 96 - In-fear-iorities part 3

When do I feel inferior:

- When someone is judging me.
- When I judge myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself feel inferior when someone is judging and comparing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when someone is judging and comparing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start judging and comparing myself when I see/perceive others judging and comparing me or others.

When and as I see myself feeling inferior, taking it personally and judging, comparing myself when others are comparing me or others - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that being different in any way does not make me inferior/superior and does not change my or another's equal value as Life. Therefore I do no accept and allow myself to feel inferior/superior when and as I see/perceive others judging, comparing me or others and I do not accept and allow myself to judge, define and change my value in comparison through mind polarity, instead I live the realization that me and everyone is equal in value as Life.

- When someone has more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to people that have more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to people that have less money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge, compare and define value of people and living being according to how much money they are worth/they have. I realize and understand that Life itself is the most valuable and that all Life is equal in value and that defining any other value to life implies separation from life and so abuse of life. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to look at the value of Life through money, instead I live the realization that Life itself is the greatest value and that all Life is equal in value.

- When someone has something 'better'/'newer' than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see/perceive that someone has something better/newer than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I see/perceive that I have something newer/better than someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy another when I see/perceive that one has something newer/better than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to have what I see another has when I think/perceive that what one has is better than what I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete and compare with others through the material things and possessions.

When and as I see myself comparing myself with others through material possessions - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am creating a polarity construct where I feel positive when I believe that what I have is better than what another has and where I feel negative when I believe that what another has is better than what I have. Therefore I do not accept and allow myself to exist within this polarity of positive/negative and I bring myself back here and breathe.

- When someone has something I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see that someone has something that I don't and/or can't have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I can have something that others can't have and/or don't have access to.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a wish/want/desire for things within myself that I can't have and/or don't have access to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself as not being good enough or smart/experienced enough when I see I don't/can't have things that others have and to within this make myself inferior and feel bad about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for having things I don't/can't have as being selfish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create anger and spitefulness within myself towards people who have more than me and who have things that I can't/don't have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy people who have things that I don't/can't have.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of the wish/want/need for material things, therefore I commit myself to let go of this addiction to the material things I don't really need and to stop the polarity of superiority/inferiority where I compare myself with others in relation to what I have/don't have and what others have/don't have.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to feel inferior when I see someone that has something I don't/can't have and I commit myself to no more feel superior when I have something that others don't have.

I will continue in the next blog...

Day 97 - In-fear-iorities part 4

When do I feel inferior?

- When I am scared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I am scared and to believe that I am unable to stand equal to the fear and remove it through self-honesty and self-forgiveness. I realize and understand that I have created every fear through the mind and that I can remove the source of the fear through self-honesty and self-forgiveness. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to feel inferior to any fear that I experience, instead I stop and breathe and apply self-honesty and remove all points of fear with self-forgiveness and bring myself back here where I direct myself in breath.

- When others talk and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when others talk and communicate and I don't and also I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I talk.
When and as I see myself feeling inferior to others when I have nothing to say while others talk - I stop and breathe. I commit myself to no more feel inferior when others talk and I have nothing to say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I have nothing to say and when I don't know anything about the things others are talking about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I talk about things that others don't know so much about.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop existing withing the inferiority/superiority feeling towards other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to have attention and be liked by others, instead of me liking myself and giving myself attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to have stories about myself that I could talk about so that I would be seen as 'cool', fun and experienced.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as asocial and to within this create a negative emotion where I feel bad and inferior and not good enough. I commit myself to stop defining/seeing myself as asocial and to stop existing within the negative/bad experience of this self-definition.

- When someone pays something for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when someone pays something for me and to feel superior when I pay something for someone. I commit myself to no more exist within the superiority/inferiority polarity in the point of payment.

- When someone's score is better/higher then mine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see/perceive that someone's score is higher/better than mine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others and compete with others by comparing scores. I realize and understand that We are all equal in value as Life always no matter what score/skill one has in anything.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop comparing myself, my skills/scores to those of others.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop taking it personally when my score/skill is not as good/high as someone else's.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to compare myself and compete with others by comparing my skill/score and to no more take it personally and make it define myself as superior/inferior as I realize that I am within this creating the polarity of feeling good/bad about myself which is useless and unnecessary.

- When people look at me.
- When people wait for what I'll say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear and inferiority when I get people's attention and when people start looking at me or expecting me to talk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in such situation wish/want/desire that people would like me, what I do, what I say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when people like me, what I do/say and to feel inferior when people don't like what I say/do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take personally what people think/say about me. I realize and understand that what people think/say about me is their own judgments which I don't have to make my own. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to take other people's judgments of me personally and I commit myself to no make other people judgments of me my own.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for the feelings of inferiority when others look at me. I commit myself to take responsibility for all inferiority feelings and to no more accept and allow them within me.

- When people wait for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when others wait for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as too slow and rude when others have to wait for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as too slow, rude when I have to wait for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create anxiety and nervousness within myself when others have to wait for me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that have created this anxiety/fear when others wait for me when I was a child and my parents called me and I was afraid that they will not wait for me and leave me if I don't come quick enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my parents/people will leave me behind if I don't come quick enough when they call me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being left behind/being lost if I don't come quick enough when someone calls me.

When and as I see myself creating fear/anxiety/inferiority when someone calls me - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am always here with me in the breath and that I cannot really be left behind and lost because I never really left myself behind and I never lost myself. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to create fear/anxiety/inferiority within myself when someone calls me and/or when others wait for me, instead I breathe and direct myself within the realization that I cannot ever really leave myself behind or lose myself here in the breath.

I will continue in the next blog...

Friday, August 23, 2013

Day 95 - In-fear-iorities part 2

Continuing with the inferiority points:

- When I believe I should know something and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I believe that I should know something that I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that it is shameful when someone does not know something that one should/that I or others expected that one would know but didn't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people who don't know what I expected they would as inferior, stupid, irresponsible and to believe that they should be ashamed of themselves.

When and as I see myself judging another for not knowing something that I/others expected one will - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I would also not want to be judged or laughed at but assisted with the point I didn't know/understand yet. I commit myself to not judge people who don't know/understand what I/others expected them they will, instead I direct myself in breath to assist them.

- When I forget something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I should never forget anything.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others when they forget something as stupid, less than/inferior to me or those who don't forget and to within this judge myself when I forget something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that knowing specific data/information out of memory is important and that this defines ones intelligence. I realize and understand that any data can be looked up and so judging people by what they know from the memory is an abuse where we make/define knowledge as information more important than actual life itself. Therefore I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to judge anyone based on the information they know or not know and their memory, instead I look and see others for what they really are here in the physical, which is life equal.

- When someone has done something I'd like to but didn't yet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to another who has done somehting I'd like but didn't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to another when I have done something that another hasn't done. I realize and understand that I am with this constantly comparing myself with others and so competing with others where I exist in a polarity of inferiority/superiority. I commit myself to stop existing within this inferiority/superiority polarity game of comparison and judgment, instead I commit myself to accept myself as equal to all here in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that one's experience(s) define one's worth/value and to in this define people with more experience and superior to those with less experience. I realize and understand that it is impossible for all to have the same experience and that in fact the experience that one had does not impact/define or change one's value as life as it is always equal to the value of all life and so I commit myself to not judge/define my value or value of others by how much experience they have, instead I see the equal value in all as Life always.

- When someone shows me something about myself that I didn't know/realize yet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed, inferior and to judge myself this way when one shows me something about myself that I haven't yet realized/noticed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and define the fact that someone sees/realizes/knows something about me that I don't as embarrassing and to within this judge myself as inferior and be embarrassed. I realize and understand that this is nothing to be embarrassed about because we all exist in a way where it is harder to see self and self's patterns when one lives them and so we can help each other to point out each others patterns. Instead of being ashamed and feel inferior I can be grateful for such support and I commit myself to not accept and allow myself anymore to go into self-judgement and inferiority, but to instead breathe and use such support as to improve myself.

- When someone is older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to someone that is older than me. I realize and understand that I have connected this with the idea of experience and the belief that older people have more authority and should be feared and respected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that older people have more authority/power just because they are older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I should fear older people because I believe they have power over me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have created the fear of older people when I was a child because older people were stronger than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that older people are stronger than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior towards younger people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that younger people should show me respect.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see people off all ages for what they really are here in the physical, which is equal as Life in every way no matter what one thinks/believes of oneself or another or how one presents oneself or how much money one has or what one's status and place in today's system of abuse.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to define myself as superior/inferior towards other people and to see and treat all equally as Life as as how I would like to be treated.

- When someone is angry at me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to another when one is angry with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when I see/perceive that one is angry with me. I realize and understand that I am responsible for my thoughts/reactions and that another's thoughts/reactions are not to be taken personally as then I am unable to stand as Life here and assist/act in a way that is best for all. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to react with inferiority and take it personally when one is angry with me anger or when one reacts towards me with emotions. Instead I breathe and I direct myself to assist another the way I would like to be assisted.

- When someone is yelling at me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my life and create a fear of pain and react with inferiority when on yells at me. I realize and understand that I have created this reaction pattern when I was a child and got scared when parents started yelling at me because I did not understand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect someone yelling at me with punishment and pain and to within this react wit inferiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when one is yelling at me. I realize and understand that yelling is not to be taken personally as it is not about me but about how ones expresses oneself in a particular situation. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to react with inferiority when one is yelling at me but to instead breathe and listen and direct myself in a way that is best for all.

I will continue in the next blog...

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Day 94 - In-fear-iorities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being wrong, being shown that I am wrong and realizing that what I thought, believed is wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed, inferior, not good enough, less than when I am being shown that I am wrong and/or that I made a mistake.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that admitting that I am wrong and that I made a mistake means that I am inferior, less than, not good enough and that this is shameful.
I realize and understand that anyone can make a mistake and that a mistake is not to be judged but recognized and accepted as a point where I can improve and make myself better. Therefore I commit myself to not judge myself and feel inferior, less than, not good enough and be ashamed of myself when I am wrong and/or when I made a mistake, instead I am thankful for the fact that I was shown the mistake and I use the point to improve myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will go the wrong way with my process and that I will have to do it all over again.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself make the justification of 'I don't want to go the wrong way and do it all over again' to create fear within myself and to then not do my process. I realize and understand that creating such fears and justifications will not help me in any way. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to create a justification of 'I don't want to go the wrong way and do it all over again' and to no more accept and allow myself to be directed by the fear of 'going the wrong way' or 'doing something wrong' and then having to do it again, instead I direct myself in breath and simply correct and realign myself whenever I see that I am wrong or not effective in a point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear if exposing myself and then being laughed at and be rejected, degraded. I realize and understand that I judge and degrade myself and so when I remove the self-judgment and self-degradation I will not be moved or affected by others laughing, judging, degrading me as I will always be in breath and understand that other's judgments show their own minds. I commit myself to no more fear of exposing myself and to no more judge myself and degrade myself as I understand that this will not help me in any way and I commit myself to let go of any reactions that I might have to others with written self-forgiveness and to not take things personally.

Fear that someone will expose something that I didn't know/realize about myself and then be ashamed - judging myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that someone will expose something that I didn't yet know/realize about myself and that I will then feel ashamed and inferior. I realize and understand that there is no need for me to judge myself as inferior and feel ashamed as this will not help me in any way. I realize and understand that I can be grateful for every such point as I can use it to improve myself. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to be directed by the fear of someone showing me a point that I did not yet know/realize about myself and I commit myself to be grateful for it and to use it to improve and realign myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and use the excuse of judging myself as not being good enough and doing something good enough in order to avoid it and not do it at all. I realize and understand that I can only improve myself by doing what I can in every moment and then correcting and realigning myself as I get the feedback and as I get more experienced. I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to judge myself and what I do as not good enough and to not use this as an excuse to not do blogs, videos, something at all, instead I direct myself in breath to do what I can the best I can without judgmentsand I use the feedback to improve and realign myself in common sense and according to what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with others when I write blogs, do videos, talk, work with others or do something. I realize and understand that within this I judge and compare myself where I create superiority/inferiority constructs that I then use as a motivator/demotivator instead of directing myself in breathe here equal. I commit myself to not judge, compare and compete with others when I write blogs, make videos, talk or work with others or alone but to direct myself in breath here as equal and I commit myself to not take any feedback personally but to be grateful for it and use it to improve myself and realign myself to what is best for all.

Where can I see inferiority points coming up within myself?

- When someone laughs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see/perceive that someone is laughing (at me) and to immediately think/believe that I am the one being laughed at when I hear someone laughing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that it is embarrassing and degrading if one laughs at you and to within this feel inferior and ashamed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to laugh at others because of judging them and to within this feel superior to another and be spiteful to another. I realize and understand that I am with this creating the polarity construct where I feel superior when I laugh at others and inferior when others laugh at me Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to laugh at another because of judgment and spitefulness, instead I stand equal to another and consider another as myself and act as I would like others to act if I was in their place.

I will continue with the inferiority points in the next blog.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Day 92 - Fear of jelly fish & superiority when seeing another frightened when I am not

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear when I am swimming and something touches my skin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear jelly fish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will touch a jelly fish and get burned when I see one when swimming.

I realize and understand that there is no point in reacting with fear. When and as I see myself reacting with fear as I see a jelly fish - I stop and breathe. I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to go into fear and imagination of a jelly fish attacking me and burning me, instead I commit myself to breathe and swim away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine the jelly fish attacking me/touching me and then being in pain when I see one when swimming. I realize and understand that I create the reaction of fear towards jelly fish when and as I start imagining it attacking/touching me and then being in pain, therefore there is no point in going into such imagination as I only make myself go into irrational fear and panic where I am unable to act in common sense. Therefore I commit myself to not go into imagination of a jelly fish attacking/touching me and then being in pain when I see one when swimming, instead I commit myself to breathe and swim away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the burning pain of being touched by a jelly fish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/imagine the pain of being touched by a jelly fish as horrible/unbearable/bad when I in fact know that it is nothing horrible/unbearable/bad. I realize and understand that there is no point in imagining and defining the pain of being touched by a jelly fish as something 'more horrible/bad' than what it actually is as with this I only create irrational fear where I then actually fear the fear itself. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to define the pain of being touched by a jelly fish as something 'more horrible/bad' than what it is by using my imagination, instead I commit myself to see it for what it is and breathe and stop the thoughts whenever I see myself imagining the pain of being touched by a jelly fish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to another when one is scared and I am not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to scare and joke about another when I see that I can scare someone in order to feel superior to another and better than another and more powerful/in control than another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to laugh at another and joke about it when one is scared/frightened about something because I am not in that situation.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to put myself into another's shoes when I see that one is scared/frightened and so act as I would like others to act when I am scared/frightened.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to feel superior to another when one is scared/frightened and use this situation in my self-interest in order to feel better about myself, instead I commit myself to put myself into another's shoes, breathe, and act as I would like others to act when I am scared/frightened and stand as support.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Witness statement: Desteni Research Group is not a scam

My name is Blaž Cegnar and I live in Slovenia, EU, where I was born in Celje in 1988 and where I also finished my high-school. I finished the study of computer and information science at University of Ljubljana where I got my bachelor's degree and I am currently studying information and communication science for my master's degree at University of Maribor.

I first found out about the Desteni Research Group in 2008 when I started watching the group's videos on YouTube, where perspectives were given about the human history and how the world and the human mind works, how the abuse of Life happens and how it is allowed by all of us and how each one can help oneself to become a better human being that stands for what is best for All Life and works in harmony with others to implement practical solutions that will ensure a Dignified Life for all forms of life, where all Life is considered equally. Since then I have been studying the material that is made available on the group's web pages. I also joined the forum and I enrolled for the online SRA Course, which is now called the Desteni'I'Process Pro, in 2010. I am currently working on lessons from SRA3, which is the third year of the course. I am paying for the course and I also receive a sponsorship as I am not able to afford the full price of the course. I am very satisfied with it as I always have a personal buddy that helps me in understanding the lessons, material and exercises that I work on in the course. All of this is helping me to understand myself better, how I created my mind and how it all works and to, through this, change my patterns, myself to be a better and more effective person in doing what is best for all, where before I just saw myself and my self-interest and so created much abuse towards self and others. There is no other tool or course that I know of that would be so helpful in developing and expanding self into a better human being that the Desteni'I'Process Pro.

While investigating the material I found and familiarized myself with practical tools and advice for self-investigation and self-support, which includes self-honesty, writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and procedures with which one can realize, understand and deconstruct one's own mind constructs, mind patterns, emotions and feelings and by doing so stop and remove the abusive patterns and replace them with practical solutions that are best for all and so best for oneself.

While applying these tools I found out that I can realize and understand my thought patterns, feelings, emotions and how I have created them, depending on how much I allow myself to be honest with myself. By applying these tools I become aware of my everyday patterns, that are based on thoughts and other energies like emotions and feelings, and I can further see how I create and allow abuse towards myself and others as long as I allow such energies to direct me and my decisions, instead of me directing myself within the principle of common sense and what is best for All Life here in every breath.

I have been applying these tools for more than two years now, both privately and publicly as it can be seen on my two public blogs:

http://blazprocess.blogspot.com/
http://blazcegnar.blogspot.com/

During the process of applying the tools I have completely stopped drinking alcohol as it had no positive effect whatsoever on my life. I have also stopped the addiction of watching porn as it is a total abuse of women and makes one unable to develop a healthy and supportive intimate relationship towards oneself and one's partner. I have removed the addiction of being dependent on my relationship partner and I removed the fear of not having one. I also removed many fears I had towards meeting, speaking and interacting with strangers and other people. I have stopped judging myself according to my appearances and how I look. I am now more able to stay calm and not react to conflicting situations and I am generally able to be more stable and self-directive.

I have also visited the Desteni Farm in South Africa in 2011. I went there together with my former partner, Barbi Seme, and we stayed there aproximately for a month, from 29th of July to 29th of August. At that time I was already participating with the Desteni Group for about three years. I was very interested to actually meet the people I interacted with over the internet and I wanted to see how they actually live. It was my wish to visit the farm and so I asked if we could come and so we were invited. We payed for the whole trip and our stay on the farm. When we arrived at the airport we were picked up by Andrea and Robert and then we went back to the farm where we met all the other Destonians living there and those who also came to visit, including Bernard, Esteni, Sunette and many others. We immediately got our own room and after a few days we moved to another, bigger one. All the rooms and houses there are really nice, practical and comfortable. The food and everything else needed for living was always available and during our stay we could move freely and participate in anything we liked. We were on the farm most of the time, except when we went to a few trips to Pietermaritzburg or when we visited the local nature preserve. They are taking care for lots of animals on the farm so we helped with that for example, like taking care of the horses and I also helped with the parrots. We helped with painting the walls and fences and we also put up a new one for the garden. We also played pool or played with the dogs or watched an episode of Game of Thrones in the afternoon for example. They also have a music studio so I was learning to play on drums there which was very fun. I have quickly realized that all people on the farm are very practical and very motivated, persistent and stable in the work they do in order to search for and implement practical solutions that are best for all Life on Earth. They are like any other human being and I don't see them as special or much different than any other person, but what I also observed is that people living on the Desteni Farm are one of the most considerate, helpful, open, peaceful and self-honest people I ever met. I really liked living with them and if all people would live in such a way, than everyone on earth would have a dignified live that is fun and worth living. I felt very accepted the whole time. I also realized how limited I am within my own mind and my feelings and emotions that I create within myself with which I prevent myself to actually live and direct myself the way that is best for all in every breath. And so I also realized that I have to work on myself and change myself so that I can be the change that is needed in the world so that we can all create a dignified and fun life for all on Earth.

I have been studying Desteni, what it represents and I am working with other Destonians for around five years now and I have seen, observed and participated in the activities that are going on in the group and so what I see is that what the group does and stands for is what is best for all Life on Earth because everything and everyone is considered and solutions are always created and implemented in a way that is best for all.