Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Day 49 - Perceiving friends/family as special

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define/perceive my parents, friends, ex-partner, partner as my family and in this define them as special and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel positive/safe/secure/like home/like I belong to something/like I am a part of something when I am with the people I define/perceive as my family/friends and on the other side I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel negative/unsafe/insecure/like I am alone and not part of anything when I am with people that I do not define/perceive as my family/friends. I realize that as I define only some people as my family/friends and see them as more than others I create this polarity within myself where I experience myself positively when being with them and negatively when I am not with them and so only seek to be with 'friends' to get the positive experience and within this fear of losing this experience if I am not able to be with them. I commit myself to no longer define/perceive my parents, friends, ex-partner, partner as my family and/or special people and to immediately remove all definitions/perceptions of seeing people differently through writing/self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath to stand/interact with all people equally the way I would like to be treated according to what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in/give value to reactions of thoughts/emotions within myself of thinking/believing that my parents/friends/ex-partner/partner are special people to which I belong and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to be with them in order to compensate my negative emotions of loneliness/fear of being self-responsible/sadness when I am not with them. I commit myself to not think/believe/perceive that there are special people in this world to whom I belong to which I call my family/friends and to not give value to any reactions of feeling lonely/alone/like I do not belong/sad or to any desires/wishes/wants to be with those whom I define special/as friends/family and to remove all such reactions through writing/self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath within the realization that all that is here is a part of a family which I belong to in oneness and equality and so it is pointless and an illusion of the mind to define any person/part of this existence as special/more than/less than any other person/part of this existence as this only creates separation, where I feel positive when with people/parts of existence that I define/perceive special/more than and negative when I am not with people/parts of existence that I define/perceive as not special.