Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Day 99 - In-fear-iorities part 5

When do I feel inferior?

- When others work and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see others work and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge other people as lazy, rude and selfish when I work and others just watch. I commit myself to not feel inferior when others work and I watch and to judge others when I work and others watch, instead I breathe and direct myself to help if I can or just breathe.

- When others want to talk to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear and feel inferior when someone says one wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect this with being punished, yelled at or bullied.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be punished, yelled at or bullied when someone wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into self judgment and to believe that I have done something wrong and be ashamed of myself when one says one wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I am being attacked and to wish/want/desire to go away when one says on wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when one says one wants to talk with me.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to go into fear, inferiority, shame when one says one wants to talk with me. Instead I breathe and I bring myself back here and direct myself in awareness that nothing bad can actually happen to me when one wants to speak with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally and to judge myself as inferior when one says I have done a bad job, done something wrong or when one does not agree with me. I realize and understand that there is no point in taking things personally and to judge myself according to what others say about me/my work, instead I can self honestly assess other's observation and use them to improve myself and if what they express is just their opinion then not take it personally. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge myself and feel inferior to another when one judges me/my work or says that I have done a bad job or done something wrong or when one doe not agree with me, instead I breathe and use other's observations to improve myself and I don't take anything personally.

- When I fall.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed and inferior when I fall or trip (in public) and to judge myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others that fall or trip as clumsy and inferior to me because I didn't/don't and to laugh at them in order to feel superior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior and clumsy if I hear other people laughing at me if I trip, fall.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge myself and feel inferior if I trip or fall (in public). Instead I breathe and focus on the physical and my body to see if I am ok.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge other as clumsy and inferior if I see them trip, fall and to not laugh at them in order to feel superior. Instead I breathe and help if they need it.

- When something doesn't work out as I planned, imagined, anticipated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior and be angry with myself when something doesn't work out as I planned, imagined, anticipated and I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel superior and happy when something does work out as I planned, anticipated, imagined. I realize and understand that I am with this participating in a polarity design, therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to create anticipation and wish/want/desire for something to work out as I planned, imagined and to not create anticipation and to feel feel bad, inferior when it doesn't happen the way I wanted. Instead I direct myself in breath to work as best as I can to do what I planned and I commit myself to no more blame and judge myself as inferior and feel angry when things work out differently.

I will continue in the next blog...