Friday, December 11, 2015

Day 257 - Demotivated by Money


I found myself demotivated as I am currently without a regular income and have to find a way to get one. Mainly a job, but that is only one form of income as was pointed out to me. Instead of looking for a job, it is much more productive to look for opportunities of creating new forms of income. Unfortunately, this is what we have reduced living to in capitalism: looking for ways how to get money to survive and become "independent" as far as the hierarchy-enslavement system currently allows. I have never been motivated by desire for money and so I perceive doing something just for or mainly for the purpose of getting money as tedious and dull. I would rather work on projections and solutions to create a dignified, safe and fun life for all. But as I realized, when I see that I have to get money first and only then work for the good of Life, I feel demotivated, down, bored, tired, uninterested. A point I can forgive and correct.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel demotivated, down, bored, tired, uninterested when I see that I have to get money first and only then work on things I'd like. When and as I see myself feeling demotivated, down, bored, tired, uninterested when I see I have to get money first and only then work on things I'd like - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am creating these emotions thought allowing the backchat where I think and define working for money as boring, enslaving, unnecessary, instead of giving myself to opportunity to stop all these thoughts and definitions and simply enjoying the physical activities that I do when I work for money. I see I can use this time to learn how to be more effective at the skills that I can then also use in other projects. Thus I commit myself to use the time I work for money to learn how to be in the present moment, to be effective at work and learn new skills that I can use in other projects.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel resistance towards work, finding and getting a job, searching for ways to get income. When and as I see myself creating a resistance towards working for money, finding and getting a job, searching for ways to get income - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I only sabotage my effectiveness at work when creating such emotions and looking for justifications for them. Thus I commit myself to stop creating resistance towards work, finding and getting a job, searching for ways to get income, instead I breathe and direct myself to be effective at work.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think that writing a scientific paper to get some money is stupid, boring, dull. When and as I see myself thinking that writing a scientific paper to get some money is stupid, boring, dull - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I only created resistance by allowing such thoughts in my backchat, instead of simply working on it a few hours each day, getting some new writing skills, more reputation for future job applications and money. Thus I commit myself to stop defining writing a scientific article for money as stupid, boring, dull, instead I use it as an opportunity to get skills that will help me in other projects.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with looking for entertainment and other things I have to do when I sit down to write the scientific article or do other job and money earning related work. When and as I see myself distracting myself with looking for entertainment and other things I have to do when I sit down down to write the scientific article or do other job and money earning related work - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am giving into energies and allowing them to take over where I then only feel more miserable. Thus I commit myself to stop giving into distracting energies of looking for entertainment and other things I have to do when I sit down to write the scientific article or do other job and money earning related work. Instead I take a breath forgive the distractions and allow myself to simply be here and direct myself to enjoy the moment as I work and learn, allowing myself to see the opportunity within what I do to improve and get better at the job, being aware that I will always be able to use the skills in other projects.

Monday, November 30, 2015

Day 255 - Crypto-Currency as a tool for Living Income

In the current system, changing anything in relation to banking and money creation demands great effort from many people and as we all know, the banking cabal is not keen on losing the tool that makes them rich and powerful. Thus changing the old banking system will still take some time. But what I see as a better and easier solution is to use one of the new crypto currencies, or even create a new one, with the purpose of distributing everyone on Earth (or at least to those who have access to internet at first) a Living Income Guaranteed. How the system would work is very simple. We would create a limited number of crypto coins, like they are created now, enough for every person on Earth to use and receive a monthly guaranteed income. The amount of the living income received would be regulated in relation to the current value of the currency in the system, so that the amount would be enough to cover for the basic needs of a person, like food, clothes, rent, health care and education, starting small and gradually becoming higher. The way money for living income would be obtained is through a single "Life Support Tax" that would be paid on every transaction of the crypto currency. The amount of the tax would be very small and could be calculated based on the average transaction amount per month in the system, so that enough "Life Support Tax" money would be collected for everyone to receive a living income. This way we can leave the old system to fade away as we can create the new crypto currency by ourselves or use an existing one. The living income calculation and distribution would work automatically. Of course, one person could only receive one living income. So the holder of every account would have to be transparently identified to prevent unnecessary greed. Whenever you create your first crypto currency account in the system, you would be eligible to receive your living income. Obviously in the beginning, the amount would be very small because there would not be a lot of activity yet in the system when the crypto currency is first created. But it would get bigger as the system would spread and the currency value would rise.

So, what do you all think? Where do you see any potential problems, what are the solutions and how can we make this work?

Friday, November 13, 2015

Day 254 - Reacting to blame - 2 - Solutions

Continuing on the point from the previous blog, I will apply self-forgiveness to remove the automatic reactions and give myself direction through solutions for each point that we be supportive for me and the other person.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel pressured and agitated when P was talking about me with an emotional tone I perceived as blame and anger. When and as I see myself feeling pressured and agitated when someone speaks to me/talks about me in an emotional tone like blame and anger - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I started to judge myself and feel ashamed, pressured, where I fear that I will lose my portrayed image and self belief that I am a good man that hasn't done anything wrong. And thus I go into defensive mode where I blame another for feeling inferior and fearing that I will 'lose' if I admit that I was selfish and/or not acting in the best way. Instead of continuing the pattern, I commit myself to focus on not creating self-judgment and fear of losing my image/perception of being a 'good person'.

I see here I have to redefine what I see as a 'good person'.

I have been perceiving a 'good person' as someone who always does best for all, is never selfish and doesn't make mistakes. So if someone show you that you are selfish in some point, this would make you a bad person. This is the basic polarity I created within the goo/bad person construct, where I then wish to bi a good person and fear not being seen as a good person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate in the polarity of a good/bad person, where I would wish to be a good person and fear being a bad person. When and as I see myself wishing to be good and fearing of being a bad person - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I trapped myself in a polarity construct where I mostly fear I will be in some way exposed as a bad person. Thus I commit myself to no more define/judge a good person as someone perfect that always does best for all and a bad person as someone that is selfish and does not do what is best for all. When someone show me a point that was selfish, I do not judge myself as a bad person and don't go into fear, instead I understand that I am walking a process of seeing where I am being selfish and how I can correct and align myself with what is best for all and the most effective way to do this is to no judge myself but instead be thankful when someone show me something I didn't (want to) notice about myself and take the opportunity to note the point and commit to change it.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel like injustice is being done to me when I see/perceive someone blaming/accusing me of something that I see/perceive is not valid.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior, insulted and angry when I see/perceive that someone has wrongly blamed/accused me of something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to react to wrongly being accused/blamed for something by defending my perceive image as a good person by proving -that I am being wrongly accused/blamed.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to NOT stop and breathe when I see that another is reacting emotionally with anger and blame and accusing me of something and by this giving me the opportunity not to react back with emotions. When and as I see someone else speaking with emotion, blaming and accusing me of something - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I can only support myself and another when I don't react back with emotions which I can only do if I don't take the blame/accusations personally, if I don't start to judge myself, feel inferior and fear that I will lose my image as a 'good person'. Thus I commit myself to stop and breathe and do not react with fear of losing my image of a 'good person' when someone is reacting and speaking to me with blame and judgment as I understand that there is no such thing as a good/bad person, there are just acceptable and unacceptable actions people do. Instead I accept the point someone is making and put myself in another shoes so that I can through understanding of another's reaction support another to calm down and then look at the point and what the solution is.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Day 253 - Reacting to blame - 1


Today I found myself reacting to another person P, while P was talking to me with an emotional tone with blame and anger. While I was reflecting on what P was saying, P started to demand that I answer a question that was emotionally manipulative in nature and in this moment I started to become increasingly agitated and then angered. I stayed quite as I didn't know what to say to calm down the situation. I created a dilemma for myself as I did not want to simply accept the accusations from P as valid as they were not because they were made out of an emotional perception and judgment. On the other hand I did not want to directly oppose P as I saw some points could be valid and thus I would not be honest, nor would I help to calm down the situation by denying it all. As I didn't see an effective direction for myself I remained quite and this only caused P to react more, where then I also reacted with feeling more pressured, where I then started to blame P for this pressure and became angry. As I wanted to tell P to stop pressuring me I used an example from P's past, trying to show the consequence that can happen when you pressure someone, but as I was not clear when talking, I made P react even more. Thus we had an argument again that lasted around an hour before the energies stopped and I removed myself from P for a while. This show me that I am still not directing myself effectively in situation where I get accused or blamed, especially when I see/perceive the blaming to not be valid.

I will look more into problems and solutions in the next blog.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Day 251 - Expressiveness

I have been looking at expressiveness and how experience myself often as holding back my expression. Here are the self-forgiveness points I wrote out:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define being expressive as positive and within this desire to be more expressive and feel negative when I see myself as not expressive enough. When and as I see myself defining being expressive as positive and desire to be more expressive and feel negative when I see myself as not expressive enough – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I have created an unnecessary polarity by defining the word expressive as positive. Thus I commit myself to not define the word expressive as positive anymore and to not create desire to be more expressive, instead I understand that everything is an expression and so I can rather look at where I see I am not expressing what I could because I hold myself back.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will react to my expression with negativity, non-acceptance, mockery, rejection, negative judgment. When and as I see myself fearing that others will react to my expression with negativity, non-acceptance, mockery, rejection, negative judgment – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I do not have to take such reaction personally as they are just projection/reactions of others and who they are and not me and who I am. I realize and understand that fearing negative reactions to my expression is pointless as it does not help me or protect me in any way. Thus I commit myself to not fear negative reaction to my expression from others, instead I take them simply as feedback that I can use to improve myself in relation to the goals I want to achieve.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will make a fool out of myself where no one will take me seriously anymore and see me as their equal. When and as I see myself fearing that I will make a fool out of myself where no one will take me seriously anymore and see me as their equal – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that when someone wants to perceive me as a fool, that is his/hers projection of his/her own judgments that are just that and nothing more. I realize and understand that if someone does not want to see and accept me as his/her equal, no matter what I said or did, this is as well the projection of his/her own judgments and separation of superiority/inferiority that he/she has not dealt with yet and so, I am for him/her just a mirror of his/her own inner conflict. I realize that it is useless for me to wish/want from others to take me as their equal, because I cannot control others. I can only make sure that I always see myself equal to others and others equal to me as Life, no matter what they say or do. Thus I commit myself to stop fearing that I will make a fool out of myself and that others will not take me seriously and see me as their equal, instead I commit myself to never separate from others by seeing/defining/judging them as fools or by not taking them seriously or by thinking that I am more/less than them.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to compare my expression with other’s expression to see who is more expressive. When and as I see myself comparing my expression with others – I stop and breathe. I realize that this is pointless as the only consequence of it is the idea of superiority/inferiority of one’s expression in relation to another’s. Thus I commit myself to not compare my expression with others; instead I look at how I can express myself in new ways and where I am not expressing fully because of fears.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become jealous of other people who I see/perceive to be more expressive and relaxed than me. When and as I see myself becoming jealous of other people who I see/perceive to be more expressive and relaxed than me – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that being jealous is pointless as I will not help myself with it. Instead I commit myself to look at the cause of my holding back/fearing expressing what I wanted and letting go of the fears by self-forgiveness and expressing myself without fears.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify my nervousness/fears around strangers by thinking that I don’t know how not to fear. When and as I see myself justifying my nervousness/fears around strangers by thinking that I don’t know how not to fear – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am simply not allowing myself to be completely self-honest and accept the real reasons/causes for my fears/nervousness towards strangers for the moment, so that I can let them go with self-forgiveness. Thus I commit myself to no more accept the justification that I don’t know how to not be nervous/fear when I am around strangers, instead I make sure that I allow myself to be completely self-honest and accept the causes/reasons/sources of my fears and nervousness towards strangers for the moment and let them go with self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take it as a confirmation that I am not/don’t know how to be expressive around strangers when I see others how they talk with strangers with no hesitation/difficulty. When and as I see myself taking it as a confirmation that I am not/don’t know how to be expressive around strangers when I see them talk to stranger without hesitation/difficulty – I stop and breathe. I realize that I will not help myself by confirming to myself that I am not expressive through judgmental comparison. Thus I commit myself to rather instead look at the source/cause of my fears/nervousness/hesitation towards speaking to a stranger and let them go with self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by going into frustration and powerlessness in relation to holding myself back/fearing of expressing myself more, especially around strangers. When and as I see myself sabotaging myself by going into frustration and powerlessness in relation to holding myself back/fearing of expressing myself more, especially around strangers – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I will not help myself by going/staying in the experience of frustration and powerlessness. This I commit myself to not sabotage myself by going into frustration and powerlessness when I see/perceive I hold back my expression, instead I look at the cause/source of my fears and let them go with self-forgiveness.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Day 250 - Fearlesness

I have been looking at the point of fearlessness and my desire to be without fears. Bellow are the self-forgiveness points I wrote out so far.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define being fearless as positive and having fear as negative and within this adding unnecessary extra judgment towards my experience of when I have fears or when I don’t. When and as I see myself defining/judging fearlessness as positive and fearfulness as negative – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that judging/defining/perceiving fearlessness as positive and fearfulness as negative will not help me be stable and self-directive, because when I start judging having fears I don't apply the solution of looking what the fear is about and stopping it, and then I just create the desire to not fear, while I fear. Thus I commit myself to stop defining fearlessness as positive and fearfulness as positive, instead I simply see it as an experience where fear either is or is not involved.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to be fearless because I perceived it as something positive. When and as I see myself desiring to be fearless – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that by desiring I am just creating another layer of feelings, instead of look at the source of fears and stopping it. Thus I commit myself to no more desire to be fearless and to instead look at the source of fear that comes up and remove it with self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will always have fears and not be self-confident and inferior. When and as I see myself fearing that I will always have fears and not be self-confident – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am with this fearing the fear itself. Thus I commit myself to always make sure that I do not fear the fear itself, but instead take it as an indicator that I haven’t look at the specific point and directed it without self-sabotage/self-doubt. So I look at the point and remove all self-sabotage/self-doubt/self-judgment with self-forgiveness and direct myself in self-certainty without fear.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to decide that I would like to know how to be fearless and wonder about it, instead of looking at the cause of my fears and removing them. When and as I see myself thinking about how it would be to be fearless – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I can only make stop fears by looking self-honestly at the cause of my fears and removing it with self-forgiveness. Thus I commit myself that instead of wondering about how fearlessness looks like, I will find the cause of my fears and remove them.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become jealous of my schoolmate when I saw her being self-confident and without fears. When and as I see myself seeing/perceiving someone being fearless and becoming jealous – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I don’t help myself by being jealous; instead I can take the moment to enjoy the self-expression of the person and realize that all it takes to stop my fears is to look at the source cause of it and remove it with self-forgiveness. Thus I commit myself to not create jealousy towards people I see/perceive as being fearless, but to instead enjoy the moment of self-expression with them and apply self-forgiveness on the causes for my fears that may come up within me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use the point of “I don’t know how not to fear” as a justification for keeping my fears. When and as I see myself thinking “I don’t know how now to fear” – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am not being self-honest, because I know me and I know what I fear and why. Thus I commit myself to not accept the justification of “I don’t know how not to fear” and to instead have a self-honest look at the cause/source of my fears and apply self-forgiveness to let them go as I don’t need them and they don’t serve me or help me in any way.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take it as a confirmation that I don’t know how to stop my fears when I see I have fears coming up while comparing myself with someone else for whom I see/perceive has no fears. When and as I see myself taking it as a confirmation that I don’t know how to stop fears in moment where I realize I have fears coming up – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I simply haven’t allowed myself to admit the cause/source of my fears to myself yet. Thus I commit myself to no more take it as a confirmation that I don’t know how to stop fears when I see fears coming up, instead I allow myself to be brutally self-honesty with myself and see the cause/source of my fears and apply self-forgiveness to let it go as I know and understand that fears don’t help or protect me at all.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by thinking that I don’t know how not to fear and how to find the source of my fears. When and as I see myself sabotaging myself by thinking that I don’t know how not to fear and how to find out the source of my fears – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I simply have to slow down my thoughts, breathe more, write out the experience and ask more questions to see and come to the source of my fears to then remove them with self-forgiveness and let them go. Thus I commit myself to, when I see I have fears coming up, stop, breathe, slow down my thoughts and write out the experience and allow myself to be brutally self-honest and see the cause/source of my fears and then let it go with self-forgiveness.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Day 249 - The Funny Guy


These are the self-forgiveness statements I wrote when looking at removing my desire to be the funny guy:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define being funny as positive and not being funny as a negative personal trait. When and as I see myself defining/perceiving being funny as positive and not being funny as negative personal trait – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am participating in a polarity definition of funny that I use to judge myself and others. Thus I commit myself to stop perceiving being funny as a positive personality train and not funny as negative.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to be funny, so that people would like me. When and as I see myself desiring to be funny so that others would like me – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that only I can like myself. Thus I commit myself to stop desiring to be liked by others and focus on simply me expressing in the physical moment when I am with others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will make a fool out of myself and not be liked by others, because I will not be funny but just stupid. When and as I see myself that I fear I will make a fool out of myself and not be like by others – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that not being liked by others is nothing to fear, as well as making a fool out of myself, because others will always have their own judgments about what is smart and what stupid, what they like and what they don’t. Thus I commit myself to not fear not being liked or making a fool out of myself, because I don’t have to judge myself as a fool and others will always think whatever they want to, no matter what I do or say. Thus fearing that this will happen is useless and will not help me or change anything.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to decide that I have to become funny and use the funny character to make others laugh so that they would like me. When and as I see myself deciding to use the funny character so that others would like me – I stop and breathe. I realize that only I can like myself and so I commit myself to not look for attention and likeness in others, but give it to myself and then share that with others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel good when I make others laugh and feel more and superior and to feel bad and inferior when I don’t make others laugh and when others don’t think that I can make them laugh or that what I say/do is funny. When and as I see myself feeling superior when others see me as funny and inferior when they don’t – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am judging myself based on how funny others perceive I am, instead of me expressing myself without judgment. Thus I commit myself to no more decide/wish/want to make others laugh and feel superior when I do and inferior when I don’t.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of another when he became funnier than me and took the attention away from me. When and as I see myself becoming jealous of another when he/she is funnier than me and taking attention away from me – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am jealous because I am looking for attention to feel better and superior. Thus I commit myself to give myself the attention to remove the need for attention from others and stop being jealous.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make a competition out of trying to be funnier than others to get more attention and be more likable. When and as I see myself competing with others in trying to be funnier – I stop and breathe. I realize that I am looking for attention, instead of giving it to myself so that I can stop the need for getting attention and being liked. I commit myself to no more compete with others in who is funnier and to instead express myself in the moment without judging and comparing myself.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify my desire of wanting to be funny by thinking that if I am funny, I will get attention and people will like me as they do others. Instead of realizing that I don’t give myself the attention that I think others should and that I can give myself the attention as well as others. When and as I see myself justifying my desire to be funny by thinking that only this way I will be liked – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that only I can like myself and so I commit myself to accept myself without judgment and be the same to others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take it as a confirmation that I am/will only be liked when I am funny when I try to be funny and others don’t find me interesting.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by constantly fearing that I will make a fool out of myself and consequently trying to be funny and likeable to others. When and as I see myself fearing that I will not be liked by other and that I will make a fool out of myself – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that not being liked by others is nothing to fear, as well as making a fool out of myself, because others will always have their own judgments about what is smart and what stupid, what they like and what they don’t. Thus I commit myself to not fear not being liked or making a fool out of myself by the opinion of others, because I don’t have to judge myself as a fool and others will always think whatever they want to, no matter what I do or say. Thus fearing that this will happen is useless and will not help me or change anything. Instead I can listen to other’s suggestion of how I can improve myself and/or consider other’s perspectives.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Day 246 - Are We All Torture Worshipers?

I was thinking about Christian faith and how far removed from common sense we humans have allowed ourselves to become, to even think about and come up with an idea to worship a symbol of a man on a torturing device - the cross. But that is just how the story goes - that he was put on a cross. I would not be surprised if what actually happened was that the angry mob who demanded his death for their entertainment, actually put a sharpened stake through his anus, just to make him suffer a bit more. Because why not. You know, like they also did to a lot of people in The Dark Ages. Would those who worship the symbol of a man on a cross also worship a symbol of a man with a stake through his anus? I wonder. So, some people still worship and prey to the symbol of torture, because they beLIEve that they will somehow get saved from their sins by doing so. Of course, having a short ritual every day is a lot easier than actually standing by the the principles the man on the cross stood by and as: do onto another as you would like to be done onto in their place. But we can laugh at those carrying such symbols around all we want. The fact is, that we all still do more or less the same: we worship torture. Just look at the world, what do you see? People torturing people, animals, nature - for profit and self-interest. Look at all the refugees coming into Europe, because we allowed their countries to get bombed by "democracy" and "freedom". And so they get tortured for someone else's pleasure and self-interest. And now we entertain ourselves by watching the news and having all sorts of comments, either spiteful, outraged or pitiful. But in the end of the day, for most people, it's just a form of entertainment. A form of torture worshiping. So many people get afraid that these people coming here as refugees will make problems and burst our comfort-zone-bubbles of self interest. And so as we worship our self-interest, we make war-ships to spread hate and violence towards these already tortured people and sink their boats before they reach our comfort-zone-bubbles. Look at the news, how do we welcome them? By men in uniforms kicking them around, beating them down. And reporters of course sometimes helping the police, sometimes just trying to get a good shot. Not of the little children though, they provoke too much sympathy in people who still know what that is. I just read that Macedonia is also thinking about building a wall on it's south border. You know, like Israhell.

So, what is the solution to all this - torture worshiping? Because face it, as long as we allow torture of anything anywhere, we are all torture worshipers. Because we admire it, instead of stopping it. The solution here is simple: lets stop worshiping torture and stop it altogether, by not allowing it anymore in our own lives and by standing in every breath by the principle: consider and care for another as you would like to be considered and cared for in their place. This means we have to stop creating war-ships, burst our comfort-zone-bubbles and change ourselves. Sounds scary? Fear is just an idea that we create in our minds and so we can forgive our fears and stop them. And if we don't, if we continue to fear for our little self-interested bubbles - we are the abusers and the torture worshipers, because we admire torture and abuse, either with positive or negative emotions and reactions. But our emotional reactions to it does not matter, as long as we don't do anything to stop the abuse of people and Life in general. So lets do that. Lets stop all the abuse and grant everyone, each other, a dignified and safe life. Let's implement a system that will  actually allow everyone to have a dignified and safe life: I invite you to investigate the Living Income Guaranteed proposal and start being active by helping to make it a reality for all people everywhere.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Day 245 - Identity trap

Who am I? What can I identify myself with? What labels shall I give to myself?

Who are you? Are you a man, a woman? Are you your name? Your nationality, religion? Are you defined by the things you like, the things you do? The amount of money you have? Your skin color? You ancestors, you memories, experiences? Have you fallen into the identity trap as well? Sure you did, we all did.

We become quite obsessed with identity as we grow up. First we start with just being here as Life, exploring, learning how to move and speak. But already our parents start calling us by our name and so we identify with the sound of our name. Then we learn we are a boy or a girl and that girls are not the same as boys. Girls wear pink and boys wear blue for example. Then we start to identify with our family because we see that our family is different than other families. And as we start to watch TV and go to school and be among peers, then the competition starts in trying to be special, because that is all that we see on TV and in our world. Lots and lots of competition, where everyone is trying to be special, where people are focusing more on differences than similarities and where everything is given a label and judged. We start talking with our schoolmates and we discuss what one likes and what one doesn't like and we identify with that. We start to identify with the clothes we wear, the things we have or don't have, the nationality, religion, skin color, the sport teams we support, the products we like, our body shape, with our profession etc. And from a very young age we already fall into this identity trap, where we try to differ, be different, special and then justify and defend our specialness as some sort of holy right. We start demanding from others to respect our specialness we proclaim, while at the same time we judge others... As a consequence, we constantly compare ourselves and also judge others. And so we create a lot of conflict between ourselves where we allow abuse of others, just because they are different. We see people as labels, not living beings. We project our judgments onto everything and so we separate ourselves from everyone else. We see ourselves as more than others or less than others and so allow exploitation to exist between men, animals and nature. We learn in school that we as humans have a different identity than animals because we are smarter and that animals are different than plants since plants don't move much. And so we identify ourselves as being superior to animals and plants and we don't really care what happens to them. We don't see them as Life. We don't see that all Life is equal, because you cannot say who has more Life than another. How much Life do you have compared to a dog, a tree, an ant or a whale? Who has more Life? It's not definable. All Life is equal.

Imagine how much conflict we can resolve when we simply realize that we are all Life and that all Life is equal. If we label/identify someone as our enemy for example, we want to destroy him. But when we remove the label/identity of him as an "enemy" and see him as Life, then we realize that destroying him is not really the best solution as we are not really more than him or different in our essence. So the better way is to consider each other and find a solution that is best for both/all as Life and to treat another as we would like to be treated in their place.

So, lets get rid of all the fake identities we try to give ourselves and others. Lets forgive ourselves for wanting to be special and separate from others. We are obviously all still unique as physical beings, but at the same time one and equal as Life and this is all that really matters. When we truly realize this, then we also understand that the best way to live and treat each other is by following the principle that is best for all Life: do onto another as you would like to be done onto in their place. So lets start identifying ourselves as Life and see all others the same - as Life. Lets prevent everyone from falling into the identity trap of separation, comparison, competition and abuse. It doesn't serve anyone. As Life - we are all equal in value.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Day 244 - Fulfillment

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define fulfillment within polarity and separation, where I believed that if I am to be fulfilled I have to get/attain something that is outside of me and to then project the this onto women, where I would search for specific women that I believed could fulfill me. When and as I see myself defining fulfillment within polarity and separation - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that there is no need/common sense in separating me from fulfillment and feeling unfulfilled. Thus I commit myself to always make sure that I do not exist within the belief/definition that I am somehow unfulfilled and that I need something outside of myself to fulfill me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that a man is not fulfilled without a woman and vice versa and that therefore I am not fulfilled and that I need a woman to fulfill me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make a decision from the belief about the fulfillment as separation/polarity, that I have to look for a woman and to judge and compare them according to my unfulfilled desires and think that certain women would fulfill me and certain won't, instead of realizing that I am projecting my belief that I am not fulfilled onto women and that I can simply stop the separation and desire for fulfillment. This when I see myself desiring to be fulfilled, especially in relation with women - I stop and breathe. I commit myself to always make sure that I do not participate within the illusion of separation from fulfillment in relation to women.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create/participate within the jealousy of looking at women and other couples within the belief that they have something I don't. When and as I see myself participating within the jealousy when observing other women/couples - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I created jealousy as the consequence of the idea/belief that I am not fulfilled that I need a woman/relationship in order to be fulfilled. Thus I commit myself to stop and not participate within jealousy towards women/couples and to stop the belief that they have something that I don't and that I am not already fulfilled.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify the belief that I am not fulfilled with the emotion of loneliness/the lack of feeling towards another person when I am alone where I would think that I have to feel more. When and as I see myself justifying the belief that I am not fulfilled with the emotion of loneliness/the lack of feeling towards another person when I am alone and think that I have to feel more - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am participating within the polarity construct of emotions/feelings as well as neutrality, where I would believe that I have to feel more when I do not have any distinct feelings. Thus I commit myself to always make sure that I do not justify the belief that I am not fulfilled with the emotions of loneliness/boredom/sadness/lack of feeling towards another person when I am alone, as I understand that I am already fulfilled and that all emotional polarities are not necessary.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to confirm to myself that that belief that women would fulfill me by imagining being with a woman and then already feeling more fulfilled, instead of realizing that this is the proof that I am actually creating both the fulfillment and fulfillment beliefs and emotions/feelings within myself. Thus I commit myself to always make sure I do not confirm the belief of (un)fulfillment or any other point with my own emotions/feelings, as I know and understand that these experiences are all polarity constructs of my own mind and thus nothing real/substantial/stable/trustworthy.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by constantly searching for a partner/something that would fulfill me. When and as I see myself searching for a partner/something that would fulfill me - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I created this point out of the polarity definition of fulfillment, where I believed that I can only be fulfilled by something/someone outside of myself, instead of realizing that I am already my own fulfillment. Thus I commit myself to always make sure that I do not sabotage myself by searching for fulfillment outside of myself and in other people/women or things, instead I look at what I have separated myself from and make sure that I give back and create that fulfillment within me and as me, without the need for something outside of me.

Word redefinition:
Fulfillment – the full mending of oneself as a living being where one removes all the limitations and unbalances within oneself.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Day 243 - Offended reaction and some other points


Today I reacted with offendedness when X said to me that I am a kind of a person that would let people drown just because I am feeling OK/not affected. Thus I will first look at the reaction.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react with feeling offended when X said that I would let people drown just because I am feeling OK/not affected.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take it personally and hate/despise X for saying that basically I am a bad person.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge the fact of letting someone drown/get harmed or killed when one could do something about it as bad/shameful, instead of realizing that such judgment is not necessary as it does not change anything, I just create an emotional reaction with it inside myself and so limit myself with a biased view of reality.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take it personal and feel offended because I perceived that X really meant what X was saying because X was emotional.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that someone really means something when one is emotional, especially angry, and to think/believe/perceive that someone doesn't really mean something and is just joking when someone is laughing and or saying "I'm just joking" and so to, based on this judgment, either take what someone is saying seriously and/or personally or not. I realize and understand that even and especially when someone is emotional, what one is saying is only an outflow of what is going on within this person's mind and so the excuse that I have to take what someone is saying to me personally and feel offended is not a valid excuse for my emotional reaction of offendedness. When and as I see someone is saying something to me with an angry voice or some other emotions - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am creating/being the problem as long as I react to what someone is saying (to me) while being angry/emotional and that there is no valid reason or purpose for me to react with offendedness or any other emotion/feeling in such moments. Thus I commit myself to always make sure that I do not react with offendedness or any other emotions to someone that is saying something (to me) while being angry/emotional

Other points I see in relation to the event:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react with resistance and defiance towards X when X said with a demanding and bossy voice that I have to do something for X while X was emotional. When and as I see myself reacting with resistance and defiance towards someone when one is demanding something with a bossy voice that I have to do something for him/her - I stop and breathe.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I am inferior to someone and a slave when someone demands from me with a bossy voice that I do something for someone. I realize and understand that there is no valid reason/purpose for me to think/believe/perceive that I am being inferior and a slave when someone demands something from me with a bossy voice and I do it. I realize and understand that people often react with emotions and consequently express with demands using a bossy voice and that I can still in such situation do what someone is emotionally demanding, when I see that it is common sense and/or that it will help to stabilize the situation without causing additional unnecessary reactions, and not take it personally and not feel inferior while doing it as I understand that I am with this not actually accepting me as being subordinate/inferior to that person, but simply doing what is best in that situation to stabilize it and not cause more unnecessary reactions.

Next I will look at another point that is not directly related to the upper ones:

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to in every moment of breath see/realize/understand that every animal and plant, no matter how big or small, is still a living being and as such completely equal to me and every other living being. When and as I see myself disregarding and animal/plant as less important than me or any other living being - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am within that movement separating myself from Life and making myself superior, thus accepting and allowing abuse of Life, myself as Life, because I gave more importance to my thoughts as energy, which is the opposite of Life because the energy created as/within separation is ignorance and consumption of Life for no other reason than selfishness. Thus I commit myself to always make sure that I see/understand in every moment of breath that every animal and plant and living being, no matter how big or small, is equal to me as Life and all other living beings and so it is all me as Life here, thus it only makes sense that I respect and support all Life equally and not disregard or ignore it in any way and make sure that I treat all Life the way I would like to be treated and supported in the place of another living being.