Friday, August 14, 2015

Day 243 - Offended reaction and some other points


Today I reacted with offendedness when X said to me that I am a kind of a person that would let people drown just because I am feeling OK/not affected. Thus I will first look at the reaction.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react with feeling offended when X said that I would let people drown just because I am feeling OK/not affected.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take it personally and hate/despise X for saying that basically I am a bad person.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge the fact of letting someone drown/get harmed or killed when one could do something about it as bad/shameful, instead of realizing that such judgment is not necessary as it does not change anything, I just create an emotional reaction with it inside myself and so limit myself with a biased view of reality.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take it personal and feel offended because I perceived that X really meant what X was saying because X was emotional.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that someone really means something when one is emotional, especially angry, and to think/believe/perceive that someone doesn't really mean something and is just joking when someone is laughing and or saying "I'm just joking" and so to, based on this judgment, either take what someone is saying seriously and/or personally or not. I realize and understand that even and especially when someone is emotional, what one is saying is only an outflow of what is going on within this person's mind and so the excuse that I have to take what someone is saying to me personally and feel offended is not a valid excuse for my emotional reaction of offendedness. When and as I see someone is saying something to me with an angry voice or some other emotions - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am creating/being the problem as long as I react to what someone is saying (to me) while being angry/emotional and that there is no valid reason or purpose for me to react with offendedness or any other emotion/feeling in such moments. Thus I commit myself to always make sure that I do not react with offendedness or any other emotions to someone that is saying something (to me) while being angry/emotional

Other points I see in relation to the event:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react with resistance and defiance towards X when X said with a demanding and bossy voice that I have to do something for X while X was emotional. When and as I see myself reacting with resistance and defiance towards someone when one is demanding something with a bossy voice that I have to do something for him/her - I stop and breathe.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I am inferior to someone and a slave when someone demands from me with a bossy voice that I do something for someone. I realize and understand that there is no valid reason/purpose for me to think/believe/perceive that I am being inferior and a slave when someone demands something from me with a bossy voice and I do it. I realize and understand that people often react with emotions and consequently express with demands using a bossy voice and that I can still in such situation do what someone is emotionally demanding, when I see that it is common sense and/or that it will help to stabilize the situation without causing additional unnecessary reactions, and not take it personally and not feel inferior while doing it as I understand that I am with this not actually accepting me as being subordinate/inferior to that person, but simply doing what is best in that situation to stabilize it and not cause more unnecessary reactions.

Next I will look at another point that is not directly related to the upper ones:

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to in every moment of breath see/realize/understand that every animal and plant, no matter how big or small, is still a living being and as such completely equal to me and every other living being. When and as I see myself disregarding and animal/plant as less important than me or any other living being - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am within that movement separating myself from Life and making myself superior, thus accepting and allowing abuse of Life, myself as Life, because I gave more importance to my thoughts as energy, which is the opposite of Life because the energy created as/within separation is ignorance and consumption of Life for no other reason than selfishness. Thus I commit myself to always make sure that I see/understand in every moment of breath that every animal and plant and living being, no matter how big or small, is equal to me as Life and all other living beings and so it is all me as Life here, thus it only makes sense that I respect and support all Life equally and not disregard or ignore it in any way and make sure that I treat all Life the way I would like to be treated and supported in the place of another living being.