Sunday, October 4, 2015

Day 249 - The Funny Guy


These are the self-forgiveness statements I wrote when looking at removing my desire to be the funny guy:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define being funny as positive and not being funny as a negative personal trait. When and as I see myself defining/perceiving being funny as positive and not being funny as negative personal trait – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am participating in a polarity definition of funny that I use to judge myself and others. Thus I commit myself to stop perceiving being funny as a positive personality train and not funny as negative.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to be funny, so that people would like me. When and as I see myself desiring to be funny so that others would like me – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that only I can like myself. Thus I commit myself to stop desiring to be liked by others and focus on simply me expressing in the physical moment when I am with others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will make a fool out of myself and not be liked by others, because I will not be funny but just stupid. When and as I see myself that I fear I will make a fool out of myself and not be like by others – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that not being liked by others is nothing to fear, as well as making a fool out of myself, because others will always have their own judgments about what is smart and what stupid, what they like and what they don’t. Thus I commit myself to not fear not being liked or making a fool out of myself, because I don’t have to judge myself as a fool and others will always think whatever they want to, no matter what I do or say. Thus fearing that this will happen is useless and will not help me or change anything.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to decide that I have to become funny and use the funny character to make others laugh so that they would like me. When and as I see myself deciding to use the funny character so that others would like me – I stop and breathe. I realize that only I can like myself and so I commit myself to not look for attention and likeness in others, but give it to myself and then share that with others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel good when I make others laugh and feel more and superior and to feel bad and inferior when I don’t make others laugh and when others don’t think that I can make them laugh or that what I say/do is funny. When and as I see myself feeling superior when others see me as funny and inferior when they don’t – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am judging myself based on how funny others perceive I am, instead of me expressing myself without judgment. Thus I commit myself to no more decide/wish/want to make others laugh and feel superior when I do and inferior when I don’t.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of another when he became funnier than me and took the attention away from me. When and as I see myself becoming jealous of another when he/she is funnier than me and taking attention away from me – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am jealous because I am looking for attention to feel better and superior. Thus I commit myself to give myself the attention to remove the need for attention from others and stop being jealous.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make a competition out of trying to be funnier than others to get more attention and be more likable. When and as I see myself competing with others in trying to be funnier – I stop and breathe. I realize that I am looking for attention, instead of giving it to myself so that I can stop the need for getting attention and being liked. I commit myself to no more compete with others in who is funnier and to instead express myself in the moment without judging and comparing myself.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify my desire of wanting to be funny by thinking that if I am funny, I will get attention and people will like me as they do others. Instead of realizing that I don’t give myself the attention that I think others should and that I can give myself the attention as well as others. When and as I see myself justifying my desire to be funny by thinking that only this way I will be liked – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that only I can like myself and so I commit myself to accept myself without judgment and be the same to others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take it as a confirmation that I am/will only be liked when I am funny when I try to be funny and others don’t find me interesting.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by constantly fearing that I will make a fool out of myself and consequently trying to be funny and likeable to others. When and as I see myself fearing that I will not be liked by other and that I will make a fool out of myself – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that not being liked by others is nothing to fear, as well as making a fool out of myself, because others will always have their own judgments about what is smart and what stupid, what they like and what they don’t. Thus I commit myself to not fear not being liked or making a fool out of myself by the opinion of others, because I don’t have to judge myself as a fool and others will always think whatever they want to, no matter what I do or say. Thus fearing that this will happen is useless and will not help me or change anything. Instead I can listen to other’s suggestion of how I can improve myself and/or consider other’s perspectives.